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FROM THE DESK OF THE COMMISH |
February 19, 2000
Random Thoughts
Ah...spring training. Pitchers and catchers. Two words I've been waiting to hear for a long, long time. Forget about robins, flowers and all that crap. The true first sign of spring is that picture of the truck on the front page of the sports section. You know, the one that's all loaded with equipment bound for Florida. In just two and a half weeks, I'll be down there myself. The G-man, Phil Geisel, and I will be soaking up the Florida sunshine, camped out in the cheap seats, watching all the rookies and aging has-beens battle it out in "B"-games. It just doesn't get any better than that.
And now, some random thoughts:
-- If Ken Griffey, Jr. really wanted to be closer to his family, wouldn't it have been easier for his family to move closer to where he works as opposed to the other way around? I mean, Seattle can't be that bad a place to live. After all, Bill Gates just built a house there. Hell, with the money he's getting, Griffey should be able to pay cash for the Gates estate in another year or two. Griffey has so much cash, he could afford to have a home in each and every city in the major leagues. That way, no matter where he's traded, his family could be close to him. They could even travel with him on the road. Then again, I guess it was easier for The Griff to just hold his breath until he got his way. Hey, it worked, didn't it?
-- There's a great article on the Seattle Times web site about how the Griffey trade went down behind the scenes. Basically, it demonstrates in big, bold letters how Griffey has become the symbol of the spoiled '90's ballplayer. I don't care if Griffey made such a "great sacrifice" by taking "only" $115 million from the Reds to be "closer to his family." In my book, he's still a spoiled, egotistical jerk. He put his former employers - who bent over backwards for him and kissed his ass for years - in an impossible position. If they didn't trade him, he made it pretty clear he'd pull a Randy Johnson and give half an effort out on the field. When they finally agreed to grant his wishes and trade him, he did everything he possibly could to ensure they wouldn't get much in return. Nice guy, that Junior.
-- This is somewhat unrelated to the Griffey case because he put Seattle in such an impossible situation, but I don't understand this new notion by big league GM's, fans and media that if a team doesn't trade a star player in the last year of his contract without "getting something for him," it's a complete waste. What is so wrong with letting Griffey stay in Seattle for the remainder of his contract and help Seattle win a pennant this year? With him, I think they're a bona-fide contender for the playoffs (assuming he doesn't pull a Johnson and throw games on purpose just out of spite.) Without him, I'm not so sure. I don't understand why you sign a guy to "x" number of years when in reality you can only keep him for "x-1" years before panic sets in. What's wrong with hanging onto him and getting to the playoffs? I can understand it only if you're not in a position to make the playoffs even with the player on the team, and/or if you can get something really great in return (such as Texas with the Gonzalez trade.) But otherwise, I wouldn't trade a year of success and an invite to the playoffs in exchange for Mike Cameron, Brett Tomko and a couple of long-shot minor leaguers. But then, I guess that's just me.
-- As I watched the debate between John McCain, George W. Bush and Alan Keyes on the Larry King show Tuesday night, I couldn't help but wonder: a) how someone as hideously repugnant as Larry King has been able to convince so many women to marry him over the past 70 years of his life, b) how on earth Larry became famous in the first place considering he has no talent whatsoever and nothing enlightening or thought-provoking to say, c) what is wrong with Larry King's shoulders that make him look like an emaciated vulture, d) why Alan Keyes is wasting his time, our time and taxpayer money by campaigning at this point, e) how Mrs. Keyes can stand to be married to a guy who never shuts up, f) how unfortunate Mr. Keyes' children are to have such a know-it-all dad and g) how scary it is that one of these juvenile, bickering, name-calling adolescents will be the representative of the Republican party in our next election. I also couldn't help but think back to Nolan Ryan's 5000th strikeout game back in 1989. I was sitting in Phil Geisel's living room watching history unfold when the camera cut to the Rangers' part-owner George Dubya (a.k.a. "Shrub") seated in the front row. For what seemed like an eternity (although I'm sure it was actually no longer than 20 seconds), George Dubya picked his nose on national television. The camera cut away for a pitch, then came back to him several seconds later. Yep, he was still picking his nose. Now the guy is the front-runner to become our next president. Frightening.
-- Now that owners have finally agreed to give more power to Czar Bud, speculation abounds that there will eventually be another strike/lockout as the owners are now united as one. Every time the issue of revenue disparity arises, the solution always seems to be either a salary cap or revenue sharing. I've been saying it for years now, but if I were commish of Major League Baseball (and god knows I should be), I would approach the problem another way.
I would institute a salary cap, all right, but there would be a cap on BOTH ends. I don't know what the average team's payroll is these days, but let's say it's $50 million. If $50 million is your baseline salary, I would make a cap of no more than $10 million above the baseline, or $60 million. But I would also institute a cap of $10 million less than the baseline, or $40 million. No team may spend more than $60 million and no less than $40 million on its payroll. The baseline would change every year, based upon the amount of total revenue generated by MLB and the rate of inflation. This way, if attendance increases and baseball flourishes, players and owners are rewarded appropriately. If baseball loses popularity, players and owners suffer. Of course, an independent accountant would have to crunch all the numbers in order to arrive at each year's baseline. Which means owners will have to open up their books. But if the KC's and Minnesota's of the league are REALLY concerned with revenue disparity, they'd have no problem opening up their books, right? Hell, pretty soon every team will be traded publicly, anyway, so they'll have to open their books regardless.
My solution accomplishes several things. For starters, all teams will be on an even playing field in regard to salaries. No more whining from Cincinnati or KC fans. The owners would be in favor of this plan since it forces them to spend wisely. We all know they can't do it on their own. This plan gives them a built-in excuse for their fans when they don't sign that big-name free agent. The Players Union would be in favor of this plan as well. After all, player salaries won't change at all, and will continue to rise. If $1.5 billion ($50 million times 30 teams) is being spent on salaries right now, it will still be spent under my plan. The only difference is, instead of playing for a team like the Yankees, a star player might be playing for someone like Minnesota instead. Only it won't be so bad, because Minnesota wouldn't be such a bad team if they'd only spend a little money. (Speaking of Minnesota, I just read that they offered Brad Radke $21 million over three years and he turned it down, asking for $24 million instead. If you were Minnesota, wouldn't you cough up the extra mill per year to keep Radke on your staff? What is a million dollars in this day and age? Hell, Minny wasted more than that on Orlando Merced and Alex Ochoa.)
Now, I know what you're thinking. What about the teams that can't afford to spend $40 million on salaries? Well, they would have three options: sell the team, move the team somewhere where the fans will support it or disband the franchise altogether. Let's face it, some cities simply don't deserve to have a major league franchise. If the Expos had a payroll of $150 million and made the playoffs on an annual basis, they'd still only draw 20,000 fans per night max. (Just look at the Atlanta Braves, another example of a city undeserving of a team.) There are plenty of cities out there that would support a major league team - and not just in this country alone. If worse comes to worst, however, why not just disband the franchise altogether and allow the players in that franchise to be absorbed into the other 29 teams? We all know there are too many teams in baseball right now as it is. Having less teams certainly wouldn't hurt competition. Sure, the Players Union would be up in arms if such a thing occurred, but screw them. They're not putting their money up for risk by wagering in this business. If their franchise loses money, they still get paid. At some point, the players have to recognize this.
-- By the way, before you start crying too hard over all these "small-market" franchises, realize that by 2005 the best teams in baseball will be Minnesota, Kansas City, Cincinatti, Oakland, Philadelphia and Montreal. The worst teams will be Baltimore, Cleveland, the Mets and Los Angeles. Don't believe me? Check back in four years. (Don't worry. If you don't remember, I will.) Already, we see several of the so-called "have-not's" acting more like "have's." Detroit has a new stadium and is throwing $140 million at one player. That doesn't sound like a small-market club to me. Cincy just laid out $115 million for a major superstar and have a brand new stadium themselves. Houston, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Seattle, Milwaukee and San Francisco all will have brand new ballparks by Opening Day, 2001. If you ask me, it doesn't sound as though any of these teams are starving for revenue.
-- Want to feel old? Rent a copy of "Teaching Miss Tingle" from your local video store. In it, Molly Ringwald - ubiquitous teen princess of the '80's - plays...get this...a teacher. Ouch. What's next? Anthony Michael Hall as "Father of the Bride?"
-- I'm hearing a lot of talk lately about the Designated Hitter rule going the way of the Macarena. It had its moment in the sun, I suppose, but clearly there's no need for it anymore. (That goes for both the DH and the Macarena, by the way. Unfortunately, if you've been to a Yankee game in the past year, you know that "YMCA" is apparently here to stay.) The Players Union will fight this thing to the death, but I don't think they have much of a say in this matter. And even if they do, they don't have much of an argument. The DH was introduced not to extend the careers of guys like Harold Baines. It was introduced in order to create more offense and keep the AL competitive with the NL. I think we can all agree (even the evil Don Fehr) that there's WAY too much offense in the game right now as it is. The DH was supposed to be an experimental trial. I think the experiment is over.
-- It's a shame that Charles Schultz's final comic strip was so lame. I was probably in my early 20's when I discovered that "Peanuts" wasn't funny anymore. Somewhere along the way, Schultz became the Steve Carlton of the comic strip world, hanging on far too long and well beyond his prime. I have to admit I enjoyed the strip as a kid, though. In the final strip, I would like to have seen Charlie Brown finally kick the football or kiss the red-headed girl or get a valentine in the mailbox. Maybe Snoopy could finally catch the Red Baron or Pig Pen could finally take a bath or Peppermint Patty could finally come out of the closet and admit her love for Lucy. Any of those scenarios would have been preferable to what we got. Oh well. Guess it's back to waiting for Bill Watterson, Gary Larson and Berkeley Breathed to come out of retirement. In the meantime, thank god for "Robotman."
-- Lately, I've had this nagging feeling, as if there were
something I forgot to do. Then it hit me: I have yet to compile a "Top-100" list
for the closing century. So, in order to fill that empty void in my life, I present you
with my Top-100 list of "Most Annoying People In Baseball." I didn't bother
putting them in order since it's so difficult to measure. So here they are in no
particular order:
A pretty comprehensive list, wouldn't you say? If I've missed anyone, please add them on the message board.